Things really are starting to get on top of me now. Being pretty much homeless for the past 5 days is taking it's toll and i am yet again, approaching the stage where i just want to give up. All week i have been on the phone and the internet, looking for anyone who can help me, i am coming up short. Ive even been looking at house shares, renting bedrooms from people, anything that i will be able to afford.
Ive been in many stressful situations before, but nothing like this. Being homeless, alone with hardly any support when i need it most. Im even grateful to be able to stay in a caravan, even though it is causing me intense amounts of pain.
I need to find myself a charitable millionaire who will take pity on me and give me a couple of hundred quid. But the thought of even that, is degrading to me. Ive always been the one to help, to give to charity, never the one to take help from them. I dont have much dignity left any more, but i intend to hold on to what little i have left, and i will go MY WAY, not theirs!
Ive always feared change. Change has rarely been a good thing for me, and i fear it more these days more than ever, and when you are forced to change everything at once, it really is a shock to the system. I would struggle with this if i was healthy, which makes trying to cope with it now all the more difficult. I just hope i have the strength to get myself through this. Ive never been one to give up on something, but i fear this wall maybe too tall to climb.