Well just when i think things can't get worse, someone drops an anvil on my head!. My partner has decided that my disabilities are holding her back from her doing all the things she wants to do, so today (Saturday 1st June) sent round her friend to tell me that i have until Monday to move out!
I am writing this having taken a shed load of pills and a few cans of San Miguel because i really do not care any more! What is my life worth living for? I don't even have a roof over my head from Monday! How can someone who I love, who is suppose to care about me, be so callous and selfish, as to force a disabled man on to the streets, just because she thinks she is missing out on something? The truth of the matter is I do everything she asks, always have done. Everything she needs to do, including running her about while she was setting up her business, and my payment? Homelessness!
As of today I have lost all faith in humanity, and life! Monday morning, i need to ring Wyre borough council to see if they have any emergency accommodation available for me, if not, i will be living in my car. A car that i will not be able to run and has an outstanding log-book loan out on! I estimate i will be able to keep it for 2 months, before it is taken away, and with it, any independence I might still have.
I am not after sympathy. I am writing this just to get some anger off my chest. I probably won't be able to blog again for a while as I might have to sell my phone to try and feed myself.
I am currently on no benefits and thus have ZERO money coming in, and she knew this. She wouldn't even wait until i had sorted my money out before dropping this bombshell on me. If you were physically disabled and used a wheelchair, could you live with being thrown out of your home, with zero money and zero help available? Just think about it. That slight feel of fear you might have in your stomach, is a true feeling of what I have right now. Complete uncertainty about the future, and not knowing if \I will even survive. But it's ok, at least SHE will be ok with a cosy roof over her head while I will be slumming it wherever someone will take me in!
Maybe now you will see why I have taken pills and alcohol, because deep down, I wish they would send me into a sleep, and I will wake up, and this has all been a nightmare. Please, tell me this is a nightmare!!?